Attack of the Killer Toothpaste

In my home, my wife does all of the household shopping. I try not to get involved, because whenever I do, I tend to throw off her system. If I just happen to throw of her system, I’m to blame for any purchases that aren’t made, and should be, until she gets all caught back up.

Because my wife tends to shop at two different locations for groceries and toiletries, I tend to miss telling her that I’m in need of certain items. The latest of those items came in the form of toothpaste. Since my wife and I moved in together, we have drawn a line in the proverbial sand and will not use one another’s toothpaste or mouth wash (I don’t like her brand and she doesn’t like mine).

The other day I ran out of toothpaste and it dawned on me that I forgot to tell my wife that I was running low. Later that evening I asked my wife if I could use hers until she had a chance to get to the store to pick up more. She told me she was trying some new stuff and that I should grab the can out of the medicine cabinet.

A can of toothpaste, that seems rather odd, I thought to myself. My wife told me that it foams up on the toothbrush and that I should use just a little to get the job done. Like an eager little kid I squirted a little on the toothbrush and watched eagerly for it to begin expanding.

As I stood there staring at my toothbrush, nothing happened. So I did what any man would do, I squired more on and got the same result. I added a little more and finally got tired of waiting. I stuck the toothbrush in my mouth and got down to brushing, feeling a little deceived by this, so called, foaming toothpaste.

Before I knew what was going on, the toothpaste was foaming up and expanding at an alarming rate. The though never occurred to me that it would expand when I started brushing with it, I expected it to act sort of like shaving cream where it expands as it comes out of the can.

I must have had a look on my face like I was being greeted by death itself, because my wife caught site of me as she was passing the bathroom and roared with laughter. I couldn’t spit this killer toothpaste out fast enough. At the rate it was expanding, I was afraid that it was going to start coming out of my nose!

Needless to say, I think I’ve learned my lesson. When my wife warms me to use the toothpaste sparingly, I’ll know better than to load up the toothbrush waiting for something cool to happen.