Kung Fu Kicked in the Nuts

Wednesday started out a little different from a normal day working from home. Rather than working the overnight hours the day before, my wife was off and scheduled for annual training in the morning. I had been up for a couple hours before her alarm sounded and was feeling a bit bored.

To have a little background noise while I worked, I turned on my Roku Player and began poking through Netflix. I settled on Bloodsport – a movie I have probably seen a hundred times over the years. I had to laugh at some of the cheesy scenes but it is a guy classic.

About half way through the movie, my wife gets up for work and comes downstairs. When she came walking into the dining room with a cereal box in her hand, I lost it. I don’t know if I was just caught up in the sweet training montages or what but I hopped out of the chair and karate chopped the shit out of that cereal box. The motion was complete was a booming HAAAAAA! and my best exaggerated Jean-Claude Van Damme facial expression.

The box flew out of her hand and the corner smacked her in the thigh. The look on my wife’s face, coupled with the yelp of pain, prompted me to try and limp away (I’m dealing with Achilles Tendonitis). I didn’t get far before she punched me in the arm and said something mean (I was too busy giggling with delight to hear it).

The morning continued with me yelling HAAAAAA! and karate chopping random things around the house. Apparently I went too far. When my wife was putting on her shoes, I chopped one of them out of her hand. It went tumbling across the living room floor which lead to another punch as I scurried away giggling.

During all of this, I unknowingly taught my daughter the art of the karate chop and she felt the need to defend her mother. It was all fun and games, right up until she Kung Fu Kicked me in the nuts.