What, you don’t check your work?

Imagine, if you will, spending a week just feeling miserable. You came down with a nasty cold that started off as a mere tickle in your throat and blossomed to the equivalent of a brick wall in your sinuses.

After several days of extra rest you begin to feel better and see the cold you’ve managed to catch, begin to dissipate. At this point your body goes through the nasty phase of getting rid of all that excess snot and congestion so that it can go back to operating properly.

Towards the end of that cold you find yourself in a situation where you can feel the congestion break up and require removal. It is like the perfect storm as you draw air into your lungs. You place the tissue against your face and blow through your nose with conviction. As the air rushes through your sinus, it feels as if the sticky green snot is slurped from your brain stem and sent screaming down your nostrils. As the snot exits your nose, it makes an unmistakable slapping sound as it flies into the tissue, much like a fast ball cracking into a catchers mitt.

Now that the glob of sticky green and yellow snot if free from your body, what do you do? If you are like me, you pull that tissue apart and take a look at what is going on. You’ve got to take a quick peek to make sure everything is copacetic. You certainly wouldn’t want to be blowing out blue or purple snot and not know it, am I right?

I followed the above story, to the letter, just the other morning before going to work. While I didn’t think anything of it, apparently my wife was appalled by the fact that I pulled apart the tissue to look at what came out of my nose.

Can you believe that, a pregnant woman that would probably spritz pickle juice on ice-cream was grossed out by me checking out my own snot? To be fair, the sound of that snot slapping the tissue was unmistakable and there was no way she didn’t hear it. Perhaps the grossness was a combination of hearing what came out then seeing me look at it.

After she finished a gagging, laughing, and yelling at me to stop looking at my snot, we got to talking and laughing. She asked me how I could do such a thing and simply couldn’t understand that men such as myself feel the need to check our work, so to speak.

I was amazed when she told me that she never did such a thing as to look at what came out of her nose. Apparently when the conversation turned to checking your work after taking care of business in the restroom, the conversation got a little too deep for her and we could no longer hold a conversation with her laughing so hard.